Tag Archives: parenting

Let It Go!

Hey all! Long time, no type, I know. It is probably going to be that way for a while though as life here in the Payne Family is busy, busy, busy.

I wanted to pop in and share a bit about what God has been whispering into my ear over the last week or so. No, contrary to the title, it doesn’t have to do with Disney’s Frozen. Sorry!

 

Before I start with my newest life lesson, I should update you a bit. I’ve been a stay-at-home-mom for almost 9 years now. During that time, I have both homeschooled and sent my children to public school. I have also taken online classes through Grand Canyon University to work on my Bachelor of Science in Psychology. Now, in just a few short days (9, but who’s counting?) I am going to be a part-time stay-at-home-mom and a full time student at Texas State University to work on my Bachelor of Arts in Family and Child Development and also my teaching certificate. This is really exciting for me and also a challenge. So here comes my very important lesson.

Certainly, you’re seen one of the memes that say, “LET GO AND LET GOD.” Well, that’s not exactly what God is saying to me. Yes, He is ultimately in control. And of course I should have my ultimate faith in Him, which it is most of the time. (Hey, I’m human, if I said all the time I’d be lying.) When my husband and I had been married just over 2 years, we went through a season of about 8 months where we were about 1000 miles apart except for a few weekends and short weeks at a time. During that time, God revealed to me that I had been relying on my husband for security rather than on Him. It was very humbling and such a relief to understand that I didn’t have to place all my faith in a human man who could not fulfill me 100%, no matter how awesome he happened to be. And trust me, my husband is pretty flipping awesome!

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This time however, God is teaching me a different lesson. You see, I tend to be a bit of a control freak. That has worked out quite well for me as a stay-at-home-mom. It isn’t going to work out so well as a mom venturing back into the college world, however. As a full-time stay-at-home-mom, regardless of how my children were schooled or whether or not I was taking online classes, most of my days were spent either at home, running errands, or our with my family. Now, I will be spending a few days a week away from my home. My husband has recently taken a position in San Antonio where although he has more responsibility, he also has a bit more flexibility and will be able to pick up where I may have to leave off because of my academic responsibilities. I am going to have to let go of some of my control over the needs of my children and household and let my husband take care of those needs. Oh, man! I can’t even tell you the anxiety I have over it.

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Let me reassure you that I know my husband is 100% capable of taking care of these responsibilities. I also whole-heartedly believe that husbands should take care of their share of child and household responsibilities when their wives are working in or out of the house (school counts as working for me as it will be taking up almost the same amount of time as a job). I just don’t want to give up that control. It is hard! God keeps reminding me though that “though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12) As much as I would like to be able to do everything on my own, that is not God’s intention for me. He wants us to need each other’s help so that He can be glorified and we will be blessed when we receive that help. He wants me to LET GO AND LET MY HUSBAND.

Next Monday, I will get that chance. I start classes that day, but my 3 children do not start school until the following day. That means my husband has to take a personal day and spend the day at home. On top of that, the only day that was available for my kindergartener to get his required immunizations and my daughter to have her (much overdue) well child check up was that Monday. Of course! So on my first day of school, not only do I need to ask my husband to take a personal day from work, I also have to miss a doctor’s appointment for the first time as a mom. My Type A personality can’t handle this! Thankfully, the clinic had the new patient forms available on their website to download and print out so all he even needs to do is sign them in and ask the questions I have written out for him in the folder.

I will say it again, my husband is 100% capable of taking care of things while I am away. It’s not that I don’t trust him or even that he doesn’t want to do it. And it’s not like he hasn’t done it before. When our youngest was just a baby, he stayed home alone with all three kiddos while I was on a girls’ weekend getaway and they all did just fine. He even did our daughter’s hair and got to church early that Sunday. Seriously, if the guy is responsible enough to hang crazy-heavy things from the ceiling right above where hundreds of people sit, stand, and walk; he can handle 3 kids, 2 dogs, and 1 house cleaning schedule.

I guess part of my anxiety is that I really haven’t asked my husband to help with some of these things. I liked being in charge of them. I didn’t ask for help because I didn’t want the help. Now I have to ask for the help because I really need it. I loathe being needy! But I’m going to let go anyway and let my husband help.

There’s a quote that goes something like, “Behind every great man is a great woman.” (I tried googling who said it, but it came up unknown.) I think the same can be said about a woman. As I strive for success and greatness in school and later in my career, I need the support of those closest to me. The greatest of those people is my husband. I know that just as I have supported him in his career goals and ambitions by staying home with our children so that he wouldn’t have to worry about it, he is willing to do the same for me now. I know that we really are equal partners and by not allowing him to do his part, I am actually harming both of us. So, I will trust God and LET GO AND LET MY HUSBAND. 🙂

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End of School Year Business Part 2

Phew! So, are you ready to find out what else my family and I have been up to this past month? Well, here it is! [If you havent read part 2 from yesterday, check it out here!]

 

On Memorial Day, the LBJ Library and Museum was free to the public. So, the hubs, kids, and I headed out to check it out. I didn’t really take many pictures because I was too busy reading and explaining to my younger 2 children about all that “old” stuff (from the 60s!) that they had no clue about. I know I wasn’t alive back then either, but it is crazy to me how much of that stuff was still around when I was a kid (in the 80s and 90s) but is almost unrecognizable to my children today. They were very excited to learn that my grandma still has a rotary telephone that works. They plan on calling their daddy on his cell phone next time we go up for a visit. We really have made some incredible advances in technology in recent years.

Here are a couple pictures that I did take though:

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The other thing that kept me busy for a few days was our Beagle, Katie. About 6 weeks ago she had a random seizure that freaked me out and I took her to the vet immediately (thankfully it happened at noon). I didn’t really think to take a video at the time that it happened, so I just had to try to explain what I saw to the vet. She agreed that it sounded like a seizure and they did a few tests. All tests came back normal and I was instructed to get it on video if it happened again. Well, it did happen again, 34 days later. I was able to get it on video this time. It happened at 9:30 pm and Katie was back to normal very shortly after it was over, so I took her to the vet the next day. They watched the video and reviewed her test results from the previous visit and diagnosed her with Epileptic Seizures. No medication is required at this time because the seizures are mild and more than a month apart. If that changes, medication will probably be necessary to prevent them from occurring. Other than the seizures though, Katie is a healthy, happy dog. She loves our family and is adequately spoiled.

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I also just completed a 6 week Early Childhood Education class with my little guy, N. The class was 2 1/2 hours on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. It focused on teaching parents how to help their preschool aged children be successful in school. Here is the breakdown of all 12 classes:

Class 1

Introduction. What should I do before my child starts kindergarten? Ready for School Checklist

project: dream catchers

 

Class 2

Social and Emotional Preparation

project: feeling faces

 

Class 3

Phonological Awareness

projects: rhyming memory game and hearts

 

Classes 4 & 5

Letter Knowledge

projects: ABC visual, ABC visual (mixed up), name book, vowels book, name tree, ABC Bingo

 

Class 6

Narrative Skills

projects: 3 little piggies, sequences, story book dice

 

Classes 7 & 8

Math Skills – Numbers, Colors, and Shapes, Math in Our World

projects: math visual, counters, number book, shapes activity, bean numbers, number Bingo

 

Class 9

Pre-Kindergarten Science – Physical Science, Life Science, Earth & Space Science, Physical Safety & Health

projects: color wheel, popping pepper, weather chart, sink or float

 

Class 10

Vocabulary Skills

project: new words dictionary

 

Class 11

Print Motivation and Fine Motor Skills, Developing Writing Skills

projects: play-doh exercises, lace-up apple

 

Class 12

Review

projects:graduation picture frames and graduation caps

 

At the end of the class we had a little party/graduation to show off all the projects that we had completed over the 6 weeks. Each of the participating parents had to get up and talk about 2 projects, the child’s favorite and the parent’s favorite. It was a fun class to take and I really enjoyed making and playing with the projects with not only N, but his older siblings as well.

Here are some pictures of my spread of projects. It really was a lot of work over that 6 week period.

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My next post will be about awards ceremonies, my boys’ graduations as well as school year before and after pics.


End of the School Year Business Part 1

I wrote in my post the other day that I would share about how I have been so busy lately. Turns out that when you have kids in school, May can be as busy as November and December. Add the end of year school business to everyday life, and wow, it is a busy life for me!

So, what have I been up to?

For starters, I’ve been teaching my youngest child to read. I am using the same book I used with his older brother and sister, Tech Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons by Siegfried Engelmann. I am so excited to be able to say that I have successfully taught all three of my children to read. My older children will sit and read for hours. My youngest doesn’t quite have the enthusiasm for reading as his older siblings (he’s like his daddy that way), but he is still very proud of his accomplishments.

Here he is reading a book for fun. I can’t even describe in the right words how happy this sight makes me!
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I also spent a day recently with my daughter doing a couple of activities that we both enjoy: running and shopping!

We started our day out going for a run with not one, but both of our dogs. We have a 62 pound Plott Hound named Roux-B (pronounced Ruby) and an 18 pound Beagle named Katie. Now I can’t hold both leashes at the same time while running (it is a skill I have yet to master), but O wanted to bring both dogs along. She was confident that she could run and hold Katie’s leash. So, I entrusted her with our smaller dog and off we went on our run. The first route we took was 1.83 miles. After that, we dropped the little dog off and took a water and potty break before heading out for our second run of the day. That route was 1.22 miles. O did an excellent job running! At one point when she had Katie’s leash, she tripped and fell, bumping her knee and chin on the cement. I asked if she wanted me to take the leash and head back home, but she just smiled and said, “No. I’m okay. Let’s keep going.” She is such an inspiration to keep going no matter what happens. Not just in fitness, but in all areas of life.

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Then, we went shopping. O had some money that she had saved from her birthday that she wanted to spend on new summer clothes for vacation. So, off we went to Old Navy and The Children’s Place to check out the sales. She ended up getting a total of 4 pair of shorts, 4 shirts, 2 dresses, and 1 pair of sandals.

After shopping, we went to Starbucks of some Frappuccinos (decaf for her). It was a fantastic day spent with my little girl who is growing into a fine little lady.

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Next up on our schedule was the school talent show. A, my oldest, did a comedy routine with his friend. The boys made the routine up themselves and it included green whipped cream “pies”.  Here is the only picture I took as I spent the whole time trying to figure out all the 5th grade boy humor that all the other children thoroughly understood and enjoyed.

 

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My daughter also participated in the Talent show. She did a hula-hoop routine that was a big hit. She stood on 1 leg and jumped during parts of it. The song she used was ‘Let it Go’ from the movie ‘Frozen’.

Here she is during her routine:

 

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That is only part of what we’ve been up to lately. I don’t want this post to be too long, so I will be making this a 2 (maybe 3) parter. Stay tuned for more updates from the Payne family including a trip to an Austin museum, my classes I’ve been taking with N, our Beagle’s medical problems, and last but certainly not least: graduations.


Setting Goals

Goals are SUPER important!

At the begining of the year, my husband and I set a goal to have a larger vehicle by the end of March. He worked side jobs almost every weekend in January and February and a few in March. All of the money he made doing that work went into a savings account and on March 30, we bought a van. We paid for it outright and have no payment weighing down on us. There are a couple issues with the van, so now we have a new goal which is to save and pay for the repairs before we go on vacation.

Another goal I have in my life is to be able to run (without a walking break) for a full 10K (6.2 miles). I’ve gotten up to 2 miles non-stop a couple of times recently. The progress is slow, especially as the Texas temperatures rise, but I am working hard to achieve that 10K goal.

I just finished a group study of Beth Moore’s So Long Insecurity. In the Group Experience companion book, she writes about Paul’s ultimate goal in Philippians 3:7-14:

The apostle Paul is both the ultimate idealist and the ultimate realist. He sees so clearly the fundamental goal of all who believe in Christ: to be found in Christ, to know Him, to become like Him. In other words, to be transformed! But Paul is honest enough to note that he’s not there yet. He doesn’t dwell on what is past, but he strains with all his energy to move forward. May we share his passion and his forward vision as we seek to leave a strong legacy for those behind us.

So now, like Paul, I’ll be honest: during the time of saving for a car, we were not always diligent.  There were times that we went out to eat when we should have put that extra money in the savings account. There were times when I bought a new lipstick or nail polish or shoes when I could have put that extra money in the savings account. There have been days that I didn’t get out to do my run first thing in the morning and I didn’t fuel my body properly so my run was not as successful as I’d have liked. But I can’t dwell on those things, I have to move forward toward the goals that I have set.

There are some goals, like Paul’s goal “to be found in Christ, to know Him, to become like Him” that are life-long,  ever changing, ever evolving goals. These are goals that, while alike in theory, they are very unique to each individual and situation as they are carried out in real life.  One such goal of mine, as a mother, is to see my children grow up knowing and loving and serving the Lord Jesus. It will not forever be my role to discipline and direct them, but I will forever be responsible for setting an example as a more mature believer and as their parent.

I’ve made so many mistakes already as a mother. I will make countless more as my children grow and mature. However, I won’t let those mistakes define my years as a mother. I will continue to grow in Christ, and therefore continue to grow as a mother. I will “press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14).

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